Into The Abyss

There’s nothing easy about shadow work. If it were easy we would all be doing it. Shadow work feels a lot like entering a black hole. I will say that I have no experience of entering black holes, I’m merely speculating. Nothing escapes black holes, not even light. Scientists are unaware of what happens past the event horizon but it’s believed that once inside, everything collapses to a tiny point of singularity. The point is so small it would be imperceptible to the naked eye.

For years I had a belief (and still believe) that if we could survive the journey through a black hole we would find ourselves in a whole new universe. But the laws of the universe have set it up so that we are unable to take that journey. But just because we can’t put our physical bodies in a spaceship and ride through a black hole doesn’t mean that we cannot know what I believe to be a similar experience through deep, healing shadow work.

Shadow work is entering that black abyss of Self, crossing the event horizon of what is known to completely let go and trust the process that we will be alive on the other side. Here’s the part we must recognize. We will remain alive because energy never dies, but we will not be the same person when we reach that singularity. When you travel through black holes you are stripped down. Your skin, hair, eyes, bones, muscles are all gone. You are nothing but pure energy. While that is the true essence of ourselves, to let any part of us that we identity with feels terrifying because our identity is all we’ve come to know about ourselves.

But the shadows beckon.

Just this morning I was having a conversation with my younger self/inner child. I was reassuring her that I can protect her. I also uncovered the truth that my boogeyman isn’t real. It’s a costume of shame worn by my inner child. Sort of like the cartoon Scooby-Doo where a group of friends take their great dane with them as they solved mysteries. As they are trying to solve the mysteries they are being chase by ghosts and monsters only to discover that they were humans in costume all along.

And the reason why the humans were in costumes was because all roads pointed back to them and so to scare away the group of friends and their dog and make them stop investigating they dressed up as monsters and ghosts so that the team would get so scared that they would end the investigation. But no matter how scary it got, or how many encounters with the monsters the team had, they continued to investigate and always solved the mystery.

Just earlier today I began to feel some anxiety. This anxiety was being kicked up by a plethora of stuff that’s happening all around me. For those of you who are spiritual folks and do “the work” you’ll know that whenever you make a decision to raise your vibration, cut old ties and cords, end cycles and patterns, the universe will give you opportunities to see if you will fall into the same traps (patterns) or choose a different path. Some may call these tests but in actuality what’s happening is you are taking up more space, you and God are co-creating an upgraded version of you. A version that is more aligned with the truth of who you are. So as you ascend and get higher and higher in your elevation, you will experience more of the challenges that match this new vibrational frequency that you’re on.

And with all that foo-foo talk knowing all of that never makes the experience of it easier. I am fully aware of the fact that I have moved into a new timeline, that I am leveling up. AND I know that this shit is difficult as fuck. Having old stuff resurface when I thought I moved past it, but now there’s a new component that I did’t see and I gotta go back into the shadowy depths and heal the new aspect of old shit is EXHAUSTING.